


We Both Know We Ain't Kids No More

by Emono



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Extremely Dubious Consent, Gavin trading sex to stay in the country, Hurt/Comfort, Hurty feelings here we come, M/M, Rough Sex, Smut, basically exchanging sex for money on Ray's part, low key murder plot, off screen character death, super dark theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:28:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7691563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emono/pseuds/Emono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is a high end drug lord that runs a circuit and has a string of night clubs. Gavin is his illegal little import whom he has trapped by hiding all those important documents, from his green card to his driver’s license. Ray is another piece Ryan has on the side, a young college student with sick grandparents and nowhere else to go. They are oblivious to one another until Gavin finds Ray’s number in Ryan’s phone. They meet and strike up a sudden and deep friendship, intimacy sparking between them as they try to deal with Ryan. They can’t last like this, they can’t keep being his punching bags. </p><p>Something has to give.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Both Know We Ain't Kids No More

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fic to sell from the beginning and it took me literally forever to write it. I asked for twenty in donations and like...fucking hell, you guys always seem to stun and amaze me. I am unworthy. You guys just...some of you...you literally keep me going. It may be weird that my niche in life is writing buttsex but hot damn you guys make it the best time of my life. Thank you for this. I hope you enjoy this.

The noise of the bar was low. Wide screens, casual chatter, a modern jukebox in the corner where a few couples had taken up as a little dance floor. Dimmed lights, casual atmosphere, and decent hot wings. Ray hated bars. No, wrong, he hated _drunk_ people. Stumbling, slurry messes who thought they could find answers at the bottom of a bottle. No one had approached him and he was thankful. He was only there to get away from Ryan.

 

He’d been nursing the same fruity virgin drink for half an hour. The umbrella it came with was a neon pink and he kept pinching the head and spinning it in the glass. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could get away with being out on his own without his boyfriend knowing, but he needed to breathe. He’d risk it, just for tonight.

 

Someone came into his peripheral and he rolled his eyes. _I thought I’d get away with a night alone._

 

Ray turned his head and gave the man the once-over. He looked like a club kid who’d gotten lost. Tight jeans with strategic rips, a white button up that hugged his sides and contrasted prettily with his tan skin, and gold Aviators that hid his eyes and that gave an appearance of kitsch wealth. He was tacky but Ray wasn’t _completely_ repulsed.

 

“Hey, love. I’m Gavin.”

 

 _Gavin_. Ray loved accents and the guy was cute enough but he could smell the strong cologne from here. If he so much as danced with this guy without getting in a shower Ryan would know, and he’d get a good smackdown for a few minutes of pleasure.

 

“Not interested,” Ray grunted.

 

“Someone at home?”

 

Ray swallowed down a snicker and took a sip from his drink. “Unfortunately.”

 

“He do this to you, love?” Ray flinched as knuckles suddenly brushed over his cheek, skimming right over the bruise around his eye. “Hm?”

 

Ray smacked the man’s hand away with a scowl, ears burning in humiliation at being called out on his wound. “Fuck off, man.”

 

“Bet there’s more than that mark, sweetheart,” Gavin purred with a heavy underlying darkness.

 

“Yeah? What the fuck do you know?” Ray spat.

 

Gavin took off his shades and his eyes were strangely sharp and gorgeous. Gavin licked his thumb and wiped under his own eye, dragging it down the line of his cheek to expose a splay of dark red bruise. The layer of makeup had covered it expertly but it was pretty bad. Ray swallowed thickly at the sight of it and shifted his gaze to his drink, suddenly very uncomfortable. _Mine will look like that in about a week._

 

“That’s an old bruise,” Ray observed, trying to be lighthearted.

 

“You an expert on marks like this, love?” Gavin inquired, fingertip tapping at the bottom slice of his exposed bruise.

 

Ray pursed his lips and almost didn’t reply. “I am. I get enough of them.”

 

“Some brute do this to you?” Gavin needled.

 

“Why?” Ray grinned at him but there was nothing but bitterness on his tongue. “Are you my knight in shining armor? Because let me fucking tell you something, buddy, my dragon isn’t getting slayed anytime soon.”

 

Gavin leaned in and Ray frowned, ready to backhand him, but the Brit stopped short of kissing his ear. Gavin was warm and smelled clean despite the musk he’d dabbed on. Ray would usually would go for a gut punch and head out but something kept him still. Maybe curiosity, maybe pity, or maybe he stayed put out of relief for feeling attractive to someone who didn’t want to smack him around. Gavin breathed against his ear and he shivered, leaning closer.

 

“I’m surprised he let you out of the house this long.”

 

A different kind of chill shot up his back. He froze.

 

“Did he pass out or is he out partying with those other disgusting bastards he pals around with? Does he let them take passes at you, love? Do they put their filthy paws on you too?”

 

Ray pulled back and stared wide eyed at the Brit. Gavin had a haunted look to him, sorrow etched into his brilliant green eyes.

 

“You must be Ray.”

 

Ray had to practically pry his tongue off the roof of his mouth. “What the fuck?”

 

Gavin took his hand, long fingers lacing with his own. His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “We need to talk.”

 

o0o

 

Ryan had been toying with them both, Ray for almost a year and Gavin twice as long. Ryan had plucked Gavin up from some rural area of England and paid for the whole process of bringing him to America. The Brit had been seduced and swindled. He’d held his documents and papers for maybe a full day before Ryan snatched them all up and locked them away somewhere in his many houses. Gavin couldn’t go to the police, his family had disowned him for running off with a man, and he had no ID to get a job or gain independence. Ryan _owned_ him. He let Gavin serve at one of his clubs and kept more than half his tips.

 

It took a couple cheap, warm beers from his car but Gavin admitted that Ryan passed him around like a party favor on the nights he had hungry friends and too much cocaine in his system. He smacked Gavin around as he pleased, fucked him too hard, and kept him trapped.

 

Ryan knew Ray’s family. He knew where Ray went to school, where he lived, his friends’ houses, even his social security number. It had started as a one night stand and Ryan had, for some unknown reason, taken a particularly nasty interest in him. Ray’s family had always been short of money and Ryan kept showing up with pockets full of crisp hundreds that went straight to his sick grandparents. It was a cliche but effective in keeping Ray caged.

 

The motel Gavin took him to was skeezy. There was a red flashing sign outside the window and the light spilled through the slats in the blinds. Gavin leaned against the wall and stared out at the limited view, a cigarette dangling lazily from glossed lips. Ray sat on the bed, stewing, his hands clenched together in a fist on his lap.

 

“Are there more guys like us?” Ray wondered aloud.

 

“Just us for now, love, I checked around,” Gavin replied, fingers plucking the cig from his mouth to puff out a cloud of smoke. “But that doesn’t mean he won’t take more. I’ve seen him with flings but he just keeps going back to me…and you.”

 

Their eyes met and an electric jolt passed through them, fingers tingling and skin prickling.

 

Ray scowled. “He’s playing with us. Building a little harem he can use as punching bags.”

 

“Has he made you do blow yet?” Gavin asked, catching the other boy off guard.

 

“What the fuck?” Ray shot back, stomach churning. “No! _Fuck_ no!”

 

“He will,” he replied solemnly, taking another drag off the cigarette. “Matter of time, darling.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Ray bulked, shoulders hunching defensively at the thought. He’d never done drugs, had never wanted to. Ryan knew how uncomfortable hard drugs made him and would tease him but he’d never forced him to do anything. Offered, yes, but never more than a darkly playful way. Ryan would show up high sometimes and fuck him with too little lube, would grab his throat too hard, but he’d never offered up his precious powder. “He mostly just likes…”

 

Ray cringed and Gavin caught it. “What?”

 

“He likes to fuck my throat like an inconsiderate asshole and makes me clean up the messes he makes,” Ray spilled out quickly, squeezing out the words past a tight throat. He opened up his hands and silvery scars caught the light. “His favorite thing is to show up wherever the fuck I am like a stalker and fuck me. He gets off on it.”

 

“He likes an audience,” Gavin hissed, sucking down the last of his cig before flicking the butt into his empty beer. “He likes to take what he wants when he wants it. He hunts you down like prey but he keeps me caged.”

 

“Either way, he always knows where we are.” Ray fiddled with the edge of his shorts, getting a glimpse of a bruise on his thigh. “I don’t even want to fucking ask...how does he, uh, treat you in the clubs? Is it as bad as I imagine?”

 

“Worse,” Gavin confessed, teeth briefly catching his lower lip. He turned his head and Ray blushed as he admired the way the Brit’s eyes sparkled. Gold eyeliner truly suited him, it sparkled like unshed tears along blonde lashes. “He keeps me caged up in those bloody night clubs of his. He _loves_ to fuck me up with an audience. When I was lucky he’d just smack me around, flex some muscle around those asshole friends of him. Sometimes he locks me up in one of the trick rooms just to make me think he’s going to send a train of Johns. It’s one of his favorite games—will you get fucked ‘til you bleed or won’t you?”

 

Ray felt the burn of bile in the back of his throat. His teeth itched to bite something and he didn’t know why. Thinking of this gorgeous creature reduced to a hole to fuck, a drugged up toy to pass around… It made him sick. “He’s playing God with us. That fucking piece of shit. He’s only going to hurt more boys.”

 

Gavin walked over and plopped down beside Ray with a little thump. The Brit shuffled uncomfortably before curling an arm around the other. Ray hissed and arched away as pain shot down through his ribs. “What’s wrong, love?”

 

“What do you think?” he muttered.

 

Gavin frowned and grabbed fistfuls of the boy’s shirt, tugging insistently. Ray resisted at first but the Brit pouted and he gave in with a big huff. Gavin winced as raw, nearly-bloody bites were exposed. They peppered all over Ray’s chest and back and always in the meatiest parts.

 

“Oh, love…”

 

“I forgot to mention he likes to bite me, a lot,” Ray drawled, trying to keep his voice as even as possible even though his chest felt like it would burst. “He knows I hate to be bitten. I’m not into pain like that, _at all_.” He tisked sharply. “He thinks it’s funny when I cry.”

 

Gavin made a soothing, cooing noise and Ray relaxed. He didn’t know why but the sound touched him. It was endearing and it made his shoulders slump. Overly gentle fingers brushed the outside of the bitemarks. “I can see his teeth in your flesh, love.”

 

“He thinks it’s funny when I cry _hard_.”

 

Gavin swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Have you ever told him ‘no’?”

 

“Have you?” Ray shot back. “What? You want to call this rape?

 

“What else is it? We’re being forced. I have _no_ choice left but him. And he made it that way.”

 

“We can walk away any time,” Ray forced out.

 

Even _he_ didn’t believe that.

 

Gavin slid to his knees in front of the other boy. Ray watched, ears burning as the Brit started unbuttoning his shirt. He was distracted at first by the graceful arches of his collarbone and the thick curls of chest hair but his attention got quickly snapped up by the wounds. Gavin’s shirt pooled around his legs and he bit his lip, exposing his shame so willingly for the first time. There were ugly purple bruises peeking out of his jeans and splattering like ink along his ribs. They looked tender. Every breath must have been a struggle.

 

Ray couldn’t help but reach out and touch one of the bruises. It was near his shoulder and so black he expected it to rub off like paint, the perfect size of a thumb. Ryan must have grabbed him with all his strength and dragged him around for a while to make a mark like that. He pressed down just to get a feel and Gavin winced.

 

“Sorry,” he breathed out in a rush.

 

“Look at us,” Gavin murmured, hand splaying over the other’s knee so his fingers could tease the very edge of a hidden bruise. “Look at what he’s doing to us, love. He’s going to break us. He had me first and I’m already…”

 

Gavin held up his hand and his fingers were visibly trembling. The word _‘broken’_ slipped past his lips in a silky whisper.

 

“He drugs me,” Gavin hissed, closing his hand into a fist and tucking it against his stomach to stop the shakes. “By the time you’re where I am, he’ll have a new boy and I’ll be…”

 

“Dead.”

 

The word popped out of Ray’s throat with a heavy wince. Gavin’s smile was strained and didn’t reach his eyes but they both know it was the truth. Ray slid off the bed, knees hitting the carpet as he grabbed the Brit and pulled him into a hug. Shock slapped across Gavin’s face but his arms sluggishly rose to return the hug.

 

Ray smelled so normal. AXE, soap, laundry detergent...nothing like Ryan’s expensive cologne. He was so used to choking on thick clouds of pretentious spray that he’d almost forgotten what a young man smelled like. He buried his face in Ray’s shoulder and let out a stuttering breath. He smelled so _safe_.

 

Ray clutched Gavin as tight as he dared with all their bruises. The other boy was so skinny. He had such a big persona but everything about him physically was so fragile. Gavin reminded him of a bird—all flash and color but with hollow bones. It was one thing when Ryan bit him up and fucked him in an empty classroom at his college, but it was another to think of him taking this pretty thing and letting his skeezy friends fuck him one after another.

 

Ray was scared of what Ryan could do to him, but Gavin’s whole world revolved around that terror.

 

“We can’t let him keep doing this,” Ray muttered, dark thoughts bubbling up like ooze in his gut. “He can’t get away with this.”

 

Gavin’s voice was muffled by his shirt. “If we go to the police I’ll be deported. I’ve got less than nothing there. I’ll be on the street.” He let out a high pitched whine. “Or worse. If Ryan pins me as a drug dealer I’ll get time. It wouldn’t be bloody hard, my damn fingerprints are on everything and he keeps me so doped up they’d find it in my system, he’d pay witnesses…”

 

He clenched his eyes shut, shuddering all the way down into his ribs as he thought of how much trouble he’d be buried in.

 

Ray pulled back and cupped stubbled cheeks, staring him in the eye with deadset determination. “We _have_ to stop this. Before we both wind up dead.”

 

Gavin sniffled and nodded. “I-I know. But how?”

 

“We’ll figure it out. We just need some time.”

 

o0o0o0o

 

Ray went a peaceful week without hearing a word from Ryan. No filthy texts, no surprise visits, no nothing. It was pleasant. Unfortunately, he hadn’t heard a word from Gavin. They’d agreed to keep their friendship a closely guarded secret for fear what the drug lord would do to them if he found out. They’d exchanged addresses and agreed to keep tabs through Tumblr of all things under obnoxious URLs. They deleted their chats every hour even if the words were only about mundane things.

 

It had been a month since they’d met and yet he felt close to Gavin. A week was a long silence when it was the one person who truly understood your biggest secret.

 

Ray’s apartment was small and dingy, a real college cliche from the pizza boxes to the cabinet of ramen to the messy piles of textbooks and papers. He’d been play video games so long he was sure his Xbox was ready to melt but he needed something to take his mind off things.

 

Someone pounded on the door so hard it startled the controller right out of his hands. He jumped up with his heart in his throat and hurried to the door, already crafting a cute dialogue about how much he missed Ryan and reminding himself where all the lube was in the apartment in case Ryan tried to fuck him dry again. He flipped open all the locks and slid the chain as he plastered a smile on his face.

 

But when he opened the door an overly hot, clinging bundle of Gavin fell straight into his arms. Ray gaped as the Brit trembled against him and clung to him with jittery fingers. Despite how the Brit sagged against him he felt like a livewire.

 

“Gavin?” Ray dragged him into the apartment and kicked the door closed, throwing the deadbolt before leading the other to the couch. He fell onto it but kept Gavin tight, heartstrings pulling as the other sobbed against his chest. “Christ on a fucking stick, what happened?”

 

He grabbed Gavin by the chin and lifted his head up, jaw dropping as he searched his face. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark, sleepless smudges beneath them. Ray had never seen someone so flushed and so pale at the same time, high cheekbones burned with either a blush or fresh backhands. His lip was split in two places, dry, and he bore a new collar of bruises around his throat. Ray could pick out distinct finger marks from a harsh choking— _several_ harsh chokings. His too-tight clothes were crumpled, stained, and he reeked of alcohol. He looked like a wreck.

 

He looked strung out.

 

“What the fuck?” Ray demanded.

 

Gavin’s face crumpled in a sob and Ray’s stomach churned. “Hey, Gav, it’s okay...I’m just worried. Jesus, look at you.”

 

“ _Ryan_.” That damn name choked out of the Brit’s bruised throat. Gavin’s voice was hoarse and thready like it would break any moment. “He shut me up in one of his clubs and...a-and…”

 

Ray pulled him fully onto the couch and tucked him into his side. Gavin weighed nothing when they met but he seemed washed out, starved of a few good meals. It was too easy to move him how he wanted and he could only imagine what Ryan had forced Gavin to do in this kind of state. The Brit wrapped around him and pressed his face to his shirt, grounding himself as his head swam.

 

“He drugged you, didn’t he?” Ray whispered against his temple, getting a soft whine. “Fucking asshole. Is that where you’ve been all week?”

 

“He kept me locked in one of those rooms,” Gavin hiccuped, tremors going up his arm from trying to hold on to his friend’s shirt. Every word felt like sandpaper scratching across his tongue but he needed Ray to know he hadn’t abandoned him. Gavin knew he was safe for the moment and he didn’t want to let go of that rare feeling. “He kept shoving coke into me, kept pouring shots down my throat like I was just…”

 

_Like you were an amusing little toy he could wind up with drugs and watch go._

 

Gavin tried to crawl into his lap but he whimpered, drawing in on himself. “Bloody fuck,” he hisses, voice tinged with disgust and a thin layer of self-pity.

 

Ray gently felt at the other’s ribs with a concerned grimace. “Are they broken?”

 

Gavin hid his face behind his hand and shook his head. “Not my ribs.”

 

“Then what?” Ray prompted, looking him over for any other wounds.

 

“They took turns,” Gavin rasped lowly. “Sometimes it was just Ryan but his friends were there. Some of the other servers too. I don’t even know how long I’ve been in there. The second they let me go I came to you. I-I didn’t know where else to go.”

 

Ray grit his teeth and swallowed down a string of curses. How many guys had Ryan let fuck Gavin to make it so painful to even spread his legs? Ray shuddered at the thought. It was not from fear but _rage_.

 

“I wanted it,” Gavin confessed shamefully. “I wanted to be good for him. I wanted… to earn my keep. He knows what coke does to me. It fries my bloody brain but _God_ it gets me going.”

 

“They fucking gang banged you so hard you can barely walk and you’re saying you liked it?” Ray pressed, ducking down to try and meet his eyes. “Gavin, look at me. _Look_ at me.”

 

Gavin lifted his head and there were tears in his eyes. “I did. I begged them. It felt good and I _cried_ for it.”

 

Ray cupped his cheek and ran a thumb along the corner of his mouth. Gavin was such a small, bruised thing and his heart broke. “What has Ryan done to you to make you think you want any of this?”

 

Gavin’s lower lip quivered and he dropped his head again, forehead pressing against Ray’s shoulder for comfort. Ray wanted to press the issue, remind Gavin that they could still make a proper plan to take Ryan out on their own terms. But his friend was hurting so deeply and pushing him right now wasn’t what either of them needed.

 

Ray carded his hands through product-tacky hair and pressed his lips to his temple. “Hey Gav? Are you hungry?”

 

“Can’t remember the last time I ate,” Gavin admitted wearily.

 

“Bet you’re tired and thirsty too?”

 

Gavin nodded a little, shaking fingers pawing weakly at the other’s leg. Ray had done some reading on cocaine and its side effects. Getting dosed continuously for a whole week - he was sure Gavin hadn’t slept or eaten in days. He couldn’t trust Ryan to have given Gavin enough water to keep him remotely hydrated in a week long fuck fest.

 

_I’m going to take care of you. I promise. We’ll take care of each other._

 

Ray had to practically haul Gavin on his own but he managed to grab a cold water bottle and lug him to the bathroom. He started up a steaming hot shower while the Brit drank his fill, water streaming down his chin as he took it all. He shoved Gavin into the shower and talked him through scrubbing every inch of himself down and washing his hair.

 

After, while Gavin patted himself down with a fluffy towel, Ray whipped him up a heaping pile of eggs and bacon. The Brit woofed it down with grateful little noises and took down two portions before his ravenous hunger was satisfied. He turned into a happy, sleepy mess right there at the counter. Ray led him to the bed with both hands and quiet promises of sleep, glad to feel that the tremors were starting to fade.

 

“Thank you,” Gavin yawned as he leaned on the other boy, nuzzling dark hair as he eased into a pair of sweatpants that felt comforting against his bare skin. Ray was good at corralling all his gangly limbs as well as his own. They tumbled into bed shirtless and snuggled close, foreheads touching as they slumped into the mattress.

 

Gavin pushed at Ray until the other laid out on his back, cuddling in closer and pressing his cheek to his chest. He felt like he was coming down from his high and words came easier with a shower and a full belly under his belt. “Ray?”

 

Ray let his fingers trail down his nape with a little hum. “Yeah Gav?”

 

“Don’t let him do this to you,” Gavin begged, picking his head up when the other gave a surprised grunt. “Don’t ever take his drugs. Please. I couldn’t bear to see you like this.”

 

“I won’t,” Ray promised quickly, smoothing out the desperation he could hear shaking through his voice. “Not ever.”

 

Gavin’s gaze slid over his face like he was searching for something. Ray’s lips quirked and he tucked a curled finger under the Brit’s chin, staring right back.

 

“Ray?”

 

“Gavin?” Ray countered, chest fizzling with sudden excitement as an urge hit him. He took the other’s chin between his fingers and eased him closer, giving him plenty of time to pull away. Gavin made a quiet little noise but he happily crawled closer. Time seemed to slow just for them, pausing and preserving this tender moment. All the bad hands they’d been dealt and the shit they’d gotten from Ryan melted as their noses brushed and their mouths met.

 

It felt pure. There was no hang ups, no malicious hooks, no fear - it was a simple kiss, just sweet pressure. It was so strikingly different from what they’d had for so long and it made them both feel a strange mix of delight and vulnerability that kicked up so many feelings deep within their chests.

 

Gavin’s fingers threaded through the other’s hair and he bumped their foreheads once more. Twin smiles broke out and they beamed at one another, hearts so swollen their chests ached. They nuzzled and laughed, cheeks pinking up at the chaste act. They were from two different worlds, linked by violence, and they found a quiet intimacy here with each other.

 

“Do you like lads?” Gavin asked, uncharacteristically shy with a little wince like he was afraid to get daggers spat back at him for the effort. “Or…?”

 

“What? Am I gay for pay?” Ray chuckled, thumb sliding along Gavin’s jaw so golden stubble prickled his skin. “I like boys, Gav. I like lots of things.”

 

“I like you,” Gavin confessed, eyes falling to Ray’s mouth. “Can we do it again?”

 

Lazy kisses gave way to sleep, arms wrapped around each other as they carved out their own little place in the world.

 

o0o0o0o

 

Sometimes Ray forgot why he let Ryan stay in his life, why he didn’t go to the police and get a restraining order for the fuckhead. There were times when he couldn’t make rent and remember why, times when he saw his grandparents medical bills and knew why.

 

Then there were times like _this_ when he remembered _exactly_ why he kept Ryan around.

 

“Fuck _yes_ !” Ray wailed happily, grin splitting his face as Ryan hit his sweet spot with every thrust. Ryan knew how to work his hips and cock like a man who’d never been fucked, who was use to dominating their partners and taking them completely. Ray raked his fingers over his partner’s shoulders where his legs weren’t hooked over and his toes curled in delight. Ryan was fucking him like a _dream_. It was that side of rough Ray liked where there was a pleasant burn and he felt pinned in a way that pushed his good buttons.

 

Ryan had been so busy with his clubs lately that Ray had actually missed getting fucked like this. He’d only ever topped with his previous partners and Ryan was such a _man_ , taking him like he deserved and rocking his world. He was convinced no one else could ever fuck him like this and that’s what made him stay. He liked getting swept up in the pure pleasure of sex without having to do all the work. He could feel every inch of Ryan’s thick cock through the condom and he writhed on it, clenching down and begging for more.

 

Club business came first, always. That’s where Ryan made his money. His string of clubs, both high class and trashy, were fronts for his drug ring and they needed to be maintained. That’s how he kept Gavin on a leash. An illegal immigrant involved with a high volume cocaine circuit? The Brit would be in jail before Ryan ever saw a pair of handcuffs.

 

_Gavin._

 

Ray gasped sharply as pure heat flushed through his hips, cock visibly leaking where it was crushed between their stomachs. He thought of Gavin in his position and a dizzying rush of pleasure swept through him. Gavin on his back folded in half, mile long legs thrown over Ray’s shoulders, voice hitching with gorgeous lilted moans and ass so _tight_. He clenched his eyes shut and imagined fucking into Gavin like this, kissing those pink lips and buried to the hilt inside him.

 

Ryan licked at his thudding pulse and Ray wet his own lips, imagining Gavin’s throat under his tongue. The Brit would be so warm, body so long and lean with all that golden hair. Or he could let Gavin fuck him. That boy was so fucking pretty and lithe like a cat. Would he fuck or would he make love?

 

Ray let out a heated, low moan as he thought of Gavin fucking him in smooth thrusts and begging to come inside him.

 

“Yes, just like - _fuck_ , right there!” Ray bowed up into Ryan, mouth hanging open as his cock slid just right inside him. “God damn it, I missed this, you fuck.”

 

“That’s sweet, baby,” Ryan chuckled breathlessly, fingers sinking into the boy’s thigh as he plowed into his ass. “You miss my cock?”

 

Ray nodded quickly, breath audibly hitching as Ryan rubbed his cockhead over the swollen gland deep inside him. Goosebumps broke out across his shoulders and chest, a flush working up his throat and into his cheeks. It was such a perfect stretch with a slow burn, a great fuck to release the stress of the week.

 

_It should be Gavin here. Kissing him sounds so good right now._

 

Ray didn’t notice the teeth in his throat at first. It was just a graze, friction against sweat damp flesh, and then it was more. _Much_ more _._

 

Ray let out a graveled, surprised shriek as a row of sharp teeth sunk into the fleshy curve of his throat. He writhed like electricity was shooting through his veins and he pushed his palms into Ryan’s shoulders to get his legs unhooked there. He could feel the man’s grin against his skin as he bit harder, skin pinching between incisors with a dangerous tightness. Tears prickled the corners of Ray’s eyes and his cock softened at the sudden, intense pain.

 

“You piece of shit!” Ray barked, pounding his palm against the man’s shoulder. “Get off me!”

 

Ryan laughed and slid down to dig his teeth into the jut of his collarbone. Ray hissed and jolted up towards the headboard, cracking his head against the plate as he drew himself out from under the trap of the man’s broad form.

 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Those blown out eyes were twinkling at him. “I thought you liked it rough?”

 

“You know I fucking _hate_ being bitten!” Ray growled, muscling his way past Ryan and jumping off the bed. The man snickered and flopped onto his side, face resting in the wide palm of his hand as he looked Ray over with utter amusement. “I’ve told you a hundred times, I don’t fucking like it. You just bit your way out of a fuck, asshole!”

 

“Worth it,” Ryan grunted as he took the pack of cigarettes off the nightstand and shook one out. He slipped it between his lips and lit it with the lighter that had been tucked inside, taking a leisurely pull before chuckling out a cloud of smoke. “I was going to mark you one way or another, kid. Either that pretty throat or your tight ass. Doesn’t matter to me.”

 

Ray was about to ask him what he was rambling about when he saw Ryan’s uncovered cock. “Where the fuck is the condom?”

 

“Slipped it off while you were singing my praises,” Ryan puffed proudly, teeth glinting in a smirk around the cigarette. “You’re my favorite free whore. Have I told you that recently?”

 

“Fuck you,” Ray spat, venom slicing through each word. He scraped his clothes off the floor and bit back frustrated tears, wiping his eyes on his shirt when he pulled it over his head to keep from giving Ryan the satisfaction of seeing them. He yanked his underwear and pants on, shooting a death glare at the lounging drug lord. “I told you when we started this - condoms and no biting, you prick.”

 

“Mmm, I remember,” Ryan hummed with another roll of smoke. “You were very insistent.”

 

“Then _why?_ ” Ray pocketed his cell and wallet, blinking hard to keep more tears back. He couldn’t look at Ryan’s smug face another second but he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. “Why do you keep fucking doing it?”

 

“Because you’re a hot little livewire when you’re angry and I pay for your STD tests, and I know you’ll always come back,” Ryan drawled knowingly. “So tell me why I should care?”

 

“Because I’m a person?” Ray shot back without a second thought, cringing.

 

Ryan snorted and rolled his eyes, plucking the cigarette out of his mouth. “Christ. If you’re going to be a buzzkill, you can keep getting the fuck out. Go on, brat, continue throwing your temper tantrum.” He waved his hand dismissively, ashes falling carelessly. “ ‘ _Wah, wah, biting hurts and I don’t like getting cum in my ass_.’ Get the fuck out, Ray. I’ll call you if I need a whiny little piss baby to stick my dick in.”

 

Ray grit his teeth as he thought of a hundred things he could say but only one thing edged past his bite. “You’re a fucking _monster_.” Ryan’s barking laughter haunted him as he stalked out the halls of the mansion.

 

Ray was trembling by the time he got out of the mansion and through the security gate. He stuffed his hands in his hoodie and kept walking, eyes firmly on the asphalt in front of him as tears burned down his cheeks. He tried to tell himself he wasn’t broken up by Ryan’s blatant cruelness but it was hard when his chest felt like it was caving in.

 

Everytime he forgot how truly sleazy a person Ryan was, the man so lovingly reminded him with nights like tonight. Some nights Ryan treated him like a human being but for every one of those moments there were a hundred sadistic ones to sting his pride into submission. And when he’d called the man a monster...he’d just _laughed_. Vicious and uncaring.

 

Ryan disgusted him on every level but the money was so damn good.

 

Ray dug his phone out and tapped in a number he knew too well. He listened to the rings, just two, before a lilted voice answer.

 

“Gavin.”

 

_‘Ray, love, you sound awful.’_

 

“Why do you think?”

 

His voice dropped to a rolling growl. _‘What did he do?’_

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Ray choked out, sneakers slapping on the sidewalk as he finally got to his car. “Can you come over tonight? _Please_? I-I need you.”

 

_‘I’ll pack a bag, love. We’ll make a night of it.’_

 

The tension melted from Ray’s shoulders and he sobbed in relief.

 

Hours later, surrounded by empty soda cans and chip bags, with the TV running some Netflix movie and a warm Gavin curled up in his lap, Ray got the best sleep of his life sprawled out on his couch.

 

o0o

 

The living room was quiet. The Xbox had powered off long ago and it left the house in a pleasant silence. It was something peaceful for Ray to gradually wake to. When he opened his eyes he found Gavin hovering above him instead of dozing beside him but he didn’t mind. Golden hair caught the sunlight filtering through the blinds and his eyes were hazy with sleep but the sweetest, laziest smile was on Gavin’s lips and it touched Ray’s heart.

 

Gavin leaned down and their lips slid in a chaste kiss that left them both smiling. They pressed close and enjoyed the warmth of one another, the innocent pleasure of skin on skin touch. Ray threaded his fingers through his hair and tugged him down until Gavin was cuddled up on top of him, face tucked into the warmth of his throat.

 

Gavin’s mouth bussed over one of the bitemarks Ryan had left and the words he whispered over the mark made Ray shiver.

 

“We have to end this.”

 

o0o0o0o

 

It was far easier than they ever would’ve believed to get a hold of something to lace in Ryan’s cocaine. Gavin had an in with a bartender in one of Ryan’s high end clubs - a gorgeous blonde woman who had pissed Ryan off enough to warrant her a rough beating and a trip to the hospital. Her current beau was one of the doctors from that night and (under the table) he was more than happy to help hurt someone who’d nearly bashed in his soon-to-be-fiance's head.

 

 _Succinylchloine_. It broke down naturally enough for no questions asked when paired with all the drug paraphernalia in Ryan’s penthouse. His reputation alone had been enough for a quick passover and death certificate. The police had found Ryan stone dead with a nose full of pure coke. The storm in his eyes had been dulled to a blank stare that had revealed nothing to the true nature of his death. It had been ruled fast and hard as an OD and the police chief had showed little remorse at the press conference.

 

The whole affair was tacked onto the war against drugs. Hands were washed clean and the community rejoiced at the death of a dark shadow. Parents went on to praise God for the miracle, for the new relief they had for their impressionable teenage children. Ryan’s death was called a gift.

 

Gavin and Ray both made their appearance at the funeral. It would have been suspicious if they hadn’t. They kept their interactions to a minimum. In the eyes of all those attending, this was the first time they had met and knew nothing of one another. They appeared in tight cut black suits with cars parked on either side of the cemetery. Each trunk held suitcases stuffed with cash they’d stolen out of the safe they’d found stupidly unlocked in Ryan’s “secret” hiding space behind a piece of art in his study.

 

Ryan had truly been a deadly and cliche villain.

 

The funeral was a full turn out. Ryan had a lot of “work” family and those in his skeezy little ring showed up with their wives or mistresses, putting on a show. Ryan strangely had a family who had _no_ idea the kind of man he was. An old mother and father, a younger brother and his darling string of children. The brother was a good man with a voice and rhythm like a politician, singing Ryan’s praises and stringing together tales of their happy childhood. All “accusations” about his brother’s shady lifestyle were glossed over with the fat tears and wobbly mouths of his nieces and nephews as they cried over their Uncle Ryan.

 

Ray and Gavin stood passively and listened to every word. Wide, dark shades hid the bruises they’d received from ganging up on Ryan before his death. They had crawled to him in whimpering, beautifully cowering submission and whined complaints to him about his cheating ways. They made themselves as pathetic as possible and cried to him about _heartbroken_ they were about his infidelity, about how they wanted more time with him and he wanted him to give up the other.

 

It had worked like a charm. He’d smacked them both around a little but mostly he screamed and launched himself into a messy tirade about bitches not knowing their places. Gavin’s carefully planted coke had replaced Ryan’s usual stash and the man had been too wound up to even give it a look over before shoving it up his nose. Gloves, a polishing cloth for fingerprints, and a little bit of odorless cleaning product to wipe up the spare drops of blood was all it took to erase their immediate presence. And to wipe out the safe.

 

The police had tracked them both down within two days but they had the same song to sing with nearly picture perfect looks of surprise.

 

_“Our relationship wasn’t the healthiest but I knew what I was getting into.”_

 

_“No, I had no idea he was seeing someone else.”_

 

_“Listen, sir, I know this is probably a little bit of a shock. But we just fucked. It was all about sex and that’s all I wanted. He took care of me when he felt like it but he wasn’t a big part of my life.”_

 

_“I’m sorry he’s dead but that was the kind of life he lead. I told him to lay off the coke but he never listened.”_

 

_“Of course I thought about turning him in. But look at him, and look at me. I’m a nobody. I thought he’d get violent if I tried to say something.”_

 

The police bought it hook, line, and sinker. They weren’t really looking for a killer. Writing off a couple of boys Haywood used to warm his bed was the natural instinct. They took it up the ass, therefore they were no threat. It was one of the few times they didn’t mind being stereotypes. Not even Ryan’s inner ring suspected them.

 

The bastards only got close enough to slip their business cards into their pockets.

 

Ray and Gavin did the expected. They tossed in their handfuls of dirt, they said brief words about how they would miss Ryan, and then got in line with their roses. It was a beautiful procession. A sea of flowers and black lace. Quiet sobs and sniffled along with the sermon from Mrs. Haywood’s favorite preacher. If it had been for anyone else it would’ve been quite touching.

 

The lines on either side of the silver casket finally crossed. Ray and Gavin caught each other’s gazes behind their dark shades. They lingered, lowering their flowers until the buds kissed. It was just a moment but it weighed heavy on the boys. And then it was over and they moved on.

 

o0o

 

The shade of the thick oak tree was a relief from the merciless beam of the Texas sun. The few ribbons of clouds that sliced through the sky didn’t do much to take the edge off the heat. Gavin fanned himself with one of the pamphlets Ryan’s brother had so lovingly had made and passed out, the glossy picture of his former lover flashing as he cooled his face. He tracked Ray’s movements through the crowd of mourners and his heart jumped up into his throat when the boy finally finished and started towards him.

 

Gavin liked to think he was smooth but Ray was like silk when he wanted to be. He came off like a dumb young guy but his friend was smart and sharp like a razor. He was dangerous in a way that thrilled Gavin. With Ryan he was playing with fire, but Ray was an ember and it made him feel so safe. Gavin had brought the drugs but Ray had weaved the plan to go to Ryan together, to play to his dominant side and get him riled up.

 

Ray came to stand beside him. Shoulder to shoulder, they didn’t say a word. They’d spent so much time together, online and in person, and now there was a new wall. They’d bonded deeply over Ryan’s cooling body. Gavin would never forget how their heads had tilted toward each other, how they’d been moments away from kissing over their abuser’s corpse.

 

If they had kissed, he couldn’t imagine them being able to stop at just that. They’d been flushed with adrenaline and it would have ended in a lot more to clean than a few squirts of bleach could take care of.

 

Gavin cleared his throat and shook off the what-if thoughts. “So, this is the last time we’ll see each other.”

 

“For our safety,” Ray assured him with a forced detachment.

 

Gavin sniffed and straightened the cuff of his suit. “Guess so.”

 

“Don’t want anyone to get suspicious,” Ray commented, watching the nervous movement.

 

“Best we leave town too,” Gavin clipped out, trying to keep the same composure as his friend. “The club scene will notice me in town and they might have some hang ups. I can imagine what thoughts will spring up if they see the two of us together.”

 

Ray bit the side of his lip, eyes dropping down to the Brit’s polished shoes. “So this is it.”

 

“Yeah, love, seems so,” Gavin sighed, fidgeting as he cast a shy gaze toward the other boy. “Or…”

 

“Or?”  


 

“Or we could take off together somewhere?” Gavin suggested tentatively.

 

Ray drew in a noisy breath and made himself look away. The mourners were dispersing but Ryan’s parents were lingering along with his brother and his brood. The kids looked worn out from crying and one was falling asleep on his feet. The day was too beautiful for a funeral. No one suspected them, the sky was clear, traffic would be light…

 

“Staying together is too dangerous,” Ray heard himself say with steadiness he didn’t feel.

 

Gavin’s jaw ticked beneath his skin as he grit his teeth. “We should just go now then. No need to draw it out.”

 

“Yeah.” Ray felt a sting in his chest as the Brit turned away without a glance and started to walk off toward his car. “Gavin?”

 

The other didn’t stop.

 

“Gavin, wait.”

 

Ray’s heart dropped into his stomach and cracked as the other quicked his pace and disappeared down the hill to the parking lot. He took a step forward, wanting to chase after him, but made himself stop. He swallowed heavily and shoved his hands into his pockets, fingers curled into fists. Everything he wanted to say died on his tongue and it was bitter. He wanted to tell Gavin about how he wanted him to come with him, to leave together, all about his daydreams of a life far away from here. He wanted to explain that everything he did was to keep Gavin safe, to protect him.

 

What they’d done...if the police didn’t get them, then Ryan’s crew would. They had to leave. There was no choice.

 

Ray sat in his car long after everyone had left, eyes fixed dully on the steering wheel and and fingers barely clinging to the curve. He had a lot more to mourn than some dead asshole.

 

o0o0o0o

 

Ray felt like he was grieving. His appetite was shot and it took everything he had to roll out of bed in the morning, eyes sore and feet heavy. Though he’d only known Gavin a few short months everything seemed to remind him of the Brit. It made packing easier. Everything was trashed or thrown carelessly into boxes in between apartment hunting in the surrounding states. He kept checking his tumblr and his phone for any message from Gavin, coded or not, but there was radio silence.

 

He debated deleting his tumblr but no good decisions were made at three AM.

 

A month after Ryan’s funeral, Ray gave up on hearing from Gavin again. And when he accepted that it seemed like everything to ten times more difficult. Moving crawled almost to a stop and he lived in a limbo of stacked boxes and take out. His mattress was stripped and ready to be sold, his bedding got almost all packed away so the couch became his bed. He left his games and electronics out and spent the time between pizzas upping his Xbox score.

 

It was no kind of life but Ray felt stuck. Something was keeping him in place, holding him back. He didn’t know what it was until two months after Ryan’s funeral.

 

The pounding at the door startled him out of his COD haze. He had to physically shake himself out of the siren call of the game and shuck off his headphones before he could manage to get up. He left the fight and let the idle character screen run as he padded to the door. He had all the locks in place but he still grabbed the baseball bat from where it leaned against the wall. He’d been practicing with it and he knew he’d be able to crack a skull if it was one of Ryan’s goons deciding to come pick up some easy ass.

 

The person in the peephole was _not_ who he expected.

 

The bat dropped and clattered as Ray scrambled to unlock everything. The second he pulled off the chain he yanked the door open and a bundle of drunk, hot Brit fell into his open arms. Ray fumble with the bundle of clinging limbs and shoved the door shut. He had a rush of deja vu before damp lips took his own in a sloppy kiss. Ray’s eyes widened and he clung hard to a lithe waist as long, clingy arms wrapped around his neck.

 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Gavin panted against his mouth, pushing and pushing like he was trying to climb on top of Ray. The younger boy held tight as surprise swept through him and stole his voice. “I drove so bloody far and had to turn right back around because it was _you_ I was trying to get to. There’s no other Rays out there.”

 

“Gavin, please,” Ray grit out, trying to stay strong though his friend’s pretty pink lips felt like Heaven against his own. “You shouldn’t be here, it’s too dangerous. You were supposed to _leave_.”

 

“Ray-”  


“You have to forget about me,” Ray begged, sliding a hand along the other’s jaw and cradling his face. Gavin looked at him with such potent adoration and it made his heart hurt. He wanted so badly to kiss him again, to bring him close and soothe the hurt, but his rational side was screaming about how bad this was. “Gavin, _listen_. We can’t stay together. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, but we killed-”

 

Gavin surged forward and crashed their mouths, teeth dragging over Ray’s lip. The younger moaned and pushed him back at arm’s length, trying to catch his breath and clear his head. But Gavin’s mouth ran, fingers clinging to Ray’s shirt to try and drag him back. “ _Gavin_ ! We have to stop, we have to get out of town _now_.”

 

“Take me with you?” Gavin pleaded, the desperation tugging at Ray’s already shattered heart.

 

Ray’s lip quivered as he tried to hold back all the things he was holding back. “We _can’t_.”

 

“I don’t care if they catch us!” Gavin blurted out, cheeks ruddy as he dug his fingers in to keep the other boy close. “I don’t care about Ryan or the drugs or any of that! It’s just you, Ray.”

 

Ray’s jaw dropped but Gavin bowled over him in a breathless, desperate tumble.

 

“I think about you all the time. I tried not to but I _couldn’t_ stop!” Gavin declared in a messy spill, eyes weighed with glistening tears that were starting to spill as he choked on every other word. “I think about you at home, at the clubs, every time I close my eyes - all I think of is _you_.”

 

“Gavin-”

 

“I love you, but you don’t care!” Gavin bawled, shoulders hunching as the sobs finally ripped out of his chest. He drew in on himself, arms wrapped tight around his heaving ribs as tears spattered on the hardwood. “R-Ray…”

 

Ray fisted the other’s too-tight shirt and dragged him back into a kiss. It was more biting and licking than kissing but neither of them cared. All they cared about was the contact, the relief of touching the one they’d been pining for.

 

“We can’t fucking do this,” Ray grunted as he pushed Gavin up against the wall, searing another kiss across his eager lips. “It’s dangerous and stupid.” Gavin nipped at him and he moaned, crowding in close to feel the hard line of his body against his own. “ _God_ , you’re fucking gorgeous and I _do_ care. I care so fucking much all I wanted was for you to come back and now you’re here-”

 

Gavin grabbed him by the collar and yanked him back into a kiss, cutting off his babble. They were brimming with all those words they’d repressed, all the things they’d never said on those secret nights hidden away together in this very apartment praying that Ryan wouldn’t find out. They’d both lived in fear for so long… this first taste of freedom was intoxicating. Their hands dragged over one another as they struggled to touch everything at once.

 

Gavin’s mouth dragged away from Ray’s and worked down his jaw and over his throat, fingers skidding up the back of his shirt to touch flushed skin. Deft fingers worked at his fly and the Brit groaned against a thudding pulse. His hips pushed into Ray’s hands and he ran sloppy kisses over the boy’s throat.

 

“Fuck,” Ray panted as he dug his hands into Gavin’s jeans and cupped his hips, thumbs rubbing hard along the defined dips there. “You were too fucking pretty to be under him. He didn’t fucking deserve you.”

 

He pushed Gavin’s jeans down and rucked a hand up under his shirt, dragging the material to show off his stomach and the golden curls above his cock. Ray’s vision swam and he swore he could still see the dark, blotchy bruises Ryan kept on their skin like sick tattoos though he knew they’d long faded. He rubbed his palm over the furry stomach and remembered every bruise, every busted rib, and when his fingers brushed a pale scar he felt his stomach churn.

 

Ray pushed the other’s pants down and kissed him hard. _Never again._

 

Gavin’s briefs were a dark green that contrasted beautifully with his skin and clung tight to his body, showing off the mouth watering curve of his cock and the V of his hips. Ray wanted to lick him all over but his own cock was throbbing and he was _impatient_. He snagged the corner of the briefs and pushed them down, cheeks warming as he admired the exposed flesh. Though Gavin fidgeted under the unwavering attention, his cock twitched in earnest from being exposed. It was long and subtly curved with a pink tip peeking out of a fleshy sheath.

 

Ray caught him in a demanding kiss and scrubbed his fingers along the soft length. “Pretty.”

 

The whispered compliment made Gavin tingle down through his fingers. He preened under the compliment.

 

Ray broke the kiss and took a long moment to admire those swollen pink lips before he grabbed him by the shoulder. Gavin went easy, flipping around to press his palms and cheek to the wall. He puffed out a breath as he heard Ray fumble with his fly and a sharp wave anticipation hit him in the chest. “Front pocket.”

 

Ray followed the grunted order and wiggled his fingers in the folded denim, digging into his pocket and pulling out a packet of lube. Ray snagged it between his teeth and he pushed the Brit’s pants down further to expose the full, fat curves of his cheeks. He cupped them and groaned at the soft peach fuzz there. Golden and firm, just like the rest of Gavin. He wanted to sink his teeth into the fleshy mounds and leave his mark, sink his fingers in as he fucked into him. He slipped his fingers between the cheeks and rubbed against the tight hole he found. Gavin made the cutest sound as he massaged the rim, teasing him to get more. He watched the long line of his back arch as he pushed into the touch and it was mesmerizing. Those cheeks flexed and the hole grasped at his finger, begging for more.

 

Gavin dragged his nails down the wall and keened. “Fuck me.”

 

Ray mouthed at the back of his neck and rubbed against him, fly open so his covered cock could drag against bare flesh. He couldn’t wait to get inside, give them both what they’d been craving. A fuck without dangerous hangups, where their partner cared about them and their needs. Neither of them would be left unsatisfied, he’d make sure of it. He was going to ruin Gavin for anyone else, he was going to prove how much he cared about him. Maybe it wasn’t love, not yet, but it was strong and he couldn’t let Gavin go another minute without knowing how much he wanted him.

 

He pinned Gavin by the nape and grabbed the packet between his fingers, ready to tear off the top with his teeth, but then he heard it. It was faint but it was a choked little whimper. The very kind he’d heard out of his own lips when Ryan threw him over the nearest flat surface, the kind he let out when he was scared he was going to get a rough fuck. It brought back a slew of bad memories and he shuddered, pushing away.

 

Gavin looked over his shoulder with a whine. “Ray? I-Is everything okay?” He seemed to draw in on himself. “Do you not want to…?”

 

Ray gently took him by the waist and turned him around, spitting out the packet with a scowl. Gavin frowned and tugged back up his briefs, hiding his needy cock. His eyes were firmly on his friend’s feet. “Did I bollocks it up? I’m so sorry.”

 

Ray slid his fingers through golden tresses and thumbed behind the Brit’s ear. “Gavin, look at me.”

 

Emerald eyes raised and widened when they saw the despair etched across Ray’s face. “What’s wrong, love?”

 

“No, I won’t-” Ray bit off his words, a bitterness coating his tongue. “I can’t let it be like this.”

 

Gavin glanced at the discarded packet, looking confused even as the realization skirted at the edges of his lust-addled mind. “Like…?”

 

“ _This_ ,” he gestured between them. “This is what Ryan would do, isn’t it? How many times has he fucked us like cheap whores just inside the house with one of those shitty packets and left us fucked up and limping? How many times has he not given a shit about how we feel or if we got off?” He ran his hand down through Gavin’s hair and over his nape. “Is that how you want to start this? Some rough fuck against the wall?”

 

Gavin winced as he remembered all those times where he’d been shoved face first onto something and fucked within an inch of his life. He’d loved it most of the time but he couldn’t deny how used he felt afterward. “You’re nothing like him.”

 

“Then let me prove it.”

 

They both shoved off their jeans and kicked them away, sharing shy smiles. Ray gently took Gavin’s hand and laced their fingers. He led him to the bedroom with careful tugs and they met in soft kisses, murmuring how much they missed each other.

 

“I thought about you every day,” Ray confessed as he unbuttoned the other’s shirt and tugged it off slim shoulders. “I waited for you to message me.”

 

Gavin slid off the boy’s shirt. “I wanted to. I was scared. I thought you wouldn’t want me.”

 

Socks were tugged off before they met again, arms wrapping around the other and lips sliding as they slowly fell backwards onto the bed. They gradually hit the mattress in a tangle of limbs and their hips met in a fluid grind. Their underwear had damp patches and they panted against each other’s mouths as they both tried to wiggle out of them at the same time. It was a fumble at first but the second their dicks dragged together it was pure electricity.

 

Ray had to pry himself away from those sugar sweet kisses to stretch over and grab the lube off the dresser that was pressed up against the wall. It was the nice kind, better than anything that came in a packet. Gavin cooed at him and rubbed his hands down his sides, smiling and pecking kisses at whatever he could reach.

 

“I’m so glad he’s gone,” Gavin husked as he parted his thighs so the other could settle between them, his intent obvious. “But I’m glad he got us.”

 

Ray hooked one of those long legs over his shoulders and dragged his mouth against his knee in a long kiss, lube-slick fingers rubbing together to warm up. “Why?”

 

Gavin’s breath hitched as the wet digits brushed over his rim, eyes starting to glaze over. He bent his knee and moved his leg farther apart to spread, feeling safe and warm as he felt the first tentative push of Ray’s fingers. “Because then I wouldn’t have you here, love.”

 

Ray’s ears burned and he slid a finger inside Gavin, getting a loud gasp. “I wish it had been different.”

 

“Happened how it happened,” Gavin huffed, head tossing carelessly as he easily took the first finger. “Another?”

 

“Anything,” Ray promised, and when his fingers returned there was two. He was careful but firm. Gavin felt so hot and soft around him, grasping at him. He pressed another kiss to his knee and hummed. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

 

“Promise,” Gavin sighed, baring down on the slim digits and fluttering all over. “You feel so good, love. Perfect fit. One more? I want to feel you.”

 

Three fingers were nothing with Ray being so achingly careful with him. He pushed back and squirmed, begging quietly for more. He wanted to feel everything, to be as close as he could to the one person he’d trusted in years. Ray’s fingers rubbed over his prostate in a smooth curl and all he could think about was the pleasure tickling his nerves and how this wasn’t even about sex anymore. It felt like they were trying to prove something to each other. With every kiss and touch they rubbed out Ryan’s memory, erased his sick touch and replaced it with one another’s. Ray’s fingers were softer than Ryan’s, slimmer, and he loved how they slid inside him.

 

Gavin went easy as Ray folded his legs up over his shoulders, flushed and hungry-eyed as he pushed closer. “This okay?”

 

“Perfect, love,” Gavin swore, splaying a hand over the boy’s chest to feel the pounding of his heart. “Nothing between us...okay?”

 

Ray nodded, palms sliding along his outer thighs. “I’m clean.”

 

“Tested every week,” Gavin replied with a sad little smile. “I want to feel it.”

 

“You will,” Ray murmured, brushing another kiss across his knee. It could’ve been a filthy phrase but it held tenderness. “You ready?”

 

Gavin nodded and his mouth dropped open when he felt the plump, slick head against his hole. It popped past the rim and they both gasped. It had been too long for both of them and their blood flushed with heat. Ray pressed close and kissed at the long, graceful line of Brit’s throat as he slid in to the hilt. Gavin opened up so perfectly, relaxing and accepting every inch like they’d done this a hundred times before. Ray watched every flicker of emotion on that handsome face, memorizing every sound that slipped out of him.

 

“Feels fucking good,” Ray puffed against his jaw, eyes clenched shut as he cradled the other’s hip in his palm. “Feels so fucking _easy_ with you, Gav.”

 

Gavin wrapped his arms around him and bore down, whimpering through clenched teeth. “You get all soft when you’re inside a Lad, huh?”

 

Ray nipped at him and rocked his hips, making sure to tag his prostate and push a surprised moan out of his throat. “Not so _soft_.”

 

“Mmm, no, not at all,” Gavin hummed, using the little leverage he had to roll his hips. He squeezed down and Ray hissed. “Fit so well inside me, love. Perfect just like that.”

 

“Good?” Ray gave him a breathless grin, feeling a smug swell inside his chest. “Better than those club rats?” He bucked his hips, bouncing Gavin and getting another moan out of him. The Brit nodded and it made his cock twitch inside it's hot sheath. “Better than those druggie assholes?”

 

Gavin’s mouth dropped open as Ray thrust deep and crowded in on him, elbows pressed to the mattress. Their mouths dragged in a filthy kiss as they ground together, tingling all over as all the right spots were hit. Ray sunk his fingers into a fleshy thigh and he made sure to move just right, rubbing right over the sweet spot that made his lover shudder.

 

“Better than Ryan?” Ray rasped against his lips.

 

Gavin’s fingers fisted in the other’s hair, eyes dark with something dangerous. Ray’s head fell back at the sharp pain but his hips kept moving. He felt Gavin’s teeth against his jaw and he shivered, arms shaking at the sudden rush of pleasure.

 

“Don’t you fucking mention him when you’re inside me,” Gavin growled out, nails pinching into his scalp. “You’re _mine_ now.”

 

Ray gasped and tried his best to nod, skin prickling and balls drawing up tight. “Y-yeah, Gav-”

 

“He’s fucking dead,” Gavin grit out, back arching as he squeezed tight to make his lover yelp. “You’ve proven you’re not him already. Now fuck me like you paid good bloody money for it.”

 

o0o

 

Ray clawed at the sheets, brows knitted up and sweat dripping into his eyes. His hair was matted and his thighs felt liquid but he was on _fire_ and he only craved more. His head hung down between his shoulders and moans punched out of him with each desperate thrust. Gavin was kneeling behind him with hands splayed possessively over the younger’s waist, bouncing him back on his dick with sharp thrusts that jarred them both.

 

The sky was turning the first shades of cotton candy dawn and this was their third round. They were consumed. They couldn’t get enough of each other. Even with cum smeared across their stomachs and thighs they couldn’t stop touching one another, kissing damp flesh and licking into each other’s mouths. Their bodies were littered with red marks from over eager hands, some ready to bruise.

 

The box of condoms laid untouched on the floor, the lube nearly gone.

 

“Fucking _shit!_ ” Ray choked out on a particularly well aimed thrust that hit his prostate so hard he jolted. Gavin’s cock was a perfect fit - smooth and curved, a good stretch without overwhelming him. He braced his palms into the bed and pushed back, back bowing beautifully. “Fuck me up, Gav. D-”

 

He cut off to a low moan as Gavin grinded his hips, the Brit’s puffing sounds going straight to his own cock. “Don’t hold back!”

 

“Saying I’m not doing it good enough, love?” Gavin hissed, snapping his hips forward and moaning at the sight of Ray’s shoulders flex in pure pleasure. “Not giving you what you need?”

 

Ray shot him a smirk over his shoulder before he spread his knees wider and dropped to his elbows, putting himself at a submissive arch and bracing himself better. “Better not to be able to walk after this.”

 

“Cocky little tart,” Gavin cursed, grabbing him by the shoulder and the hip to give himself more leverage. He bounced him harder, pushing into the thrust to go balls deep. The smack of flesh echoed in the room, chased by an even louder yelp. “Won’t be able to remember your own name by the end of it. Just mine.”

 

Ray nodded mindlessly with a gaping mouth, tears building up along his lashes. “Yours.”

 

It was so fucking good.

 

o0o

 

The next morning, Ray made breakfast on autopilot after a thorough shower. He made up two plates with sausage and eggs and toast, slathering the jam on thick. He turned on TV and started to dig in, eyes heavy with exhaustion but body still tingling from the full night he’d had.

 

Gavin rolled over the back of the couch and plopped down beside him, freshly showered and giving him the dopiest smile.

 

“Food,” Ray grunted, gesturing with his fork.

 

Gavin picked up his plate and started to eat, his smile never leaving. “So.”

 

Ray side eyed him. “So?”

 

“Parting ways forever?” Gavin waggled his eyebrows. “Never see each other again?”  


“Smartass,” Ray grumbled, clicking his fork against the plate. “Well we’re not staying here, alright? We’re moving at the end of the week. No complaining! No arguing.”

 

“Not a word from me, love,” Gavin assured him with a cheeky grin. “I’ve got everything I hoped for.”

  
Ray ducked his head to hide his blush and shoved a forkful of eggs in his mouth. “That’s so fucking corny, shut up.”

 

Gavin laughed and ducked down to nose at his friend’s shoulder. “You love it.”

 

 _I love you_ , Ray wanted to shoot back, but bit it down with his food.

 

It wasn’t time for that. One day, maybe soon, but this felt too real to rush.

 

“You’re doing the dishes.”

 

Gavin nuzzled at his shoulder again and his heart fluttered.

 

“No problem, love.”


End file.
